4 Year Old Attention Seeking Behavior

There comes a point in every mother's life when she needs to take a step back and analyze a situation that is reoccurring more often than not. When I was studying to be a teacher, we were taught constantly to re-evaluate every aspect of what happens in our classroom every day. Whether it is a lesson plan taught- how can I do it better for the next class? A behavior management technique- could I have done it a different way? Or a time management issue- I need to spend less time talking and more focus on the activity! As a parent, I think we get caught up too much with our emotions and our every day struggles to take a step back and unveil what the true problem is behind our child's behavior.

Although I am not a behavioral specialist, I can tell you one thing for sure- your child's personality traits play a major role in how your child reacts and acts to any given situation. For instance, my eldest of 3 children, Anthony, is four years old and has a very complex personality. He is by far the most outgoing, caring, goofy boy that you can ever meet- he always asks me to smile and wants a hug constantly. He can go a little far off the deep end with his goofiness- but it's all in good nature. However, he is (what I believe) immature for his age, has issues with jealousy, and is very competitive.

Where does that leave me? Picture this: I am playing with one of his siblings because at that moment he is doing something independently. He then notices I am paying attention to someone else so he first attempts to do something goofy (or at least appears to be) and accidently hurts me. Once he notices I am displeased he then wants a hug and nudges his younger sibling off of my lap. Once I believe the situation is being handled, he then asks me to do something that is unreasonable to do at the time. So I reply with a "No- not right now." Then he begins to whine and cry.

He has also begun debating- EVERYTHING -and apparently with everyone. This constant form of arguing adds stress within the home and makes me feel that I have no control- which I hate!

So step back. What has been different? When it begin?

Looking way back my son's behavior grew worse after the birth of my second born. Once my daughter was able to play with Anthony- she was all right and his behavior also began to improve. What did I do to ease some tension during this time? We did some mommy and me things together and I also implemented behavioral sticker charts. My son's behavior improved and everything was at ease.

Looking back (within the past 6 months or so) what happened? Well, he started preschool everyday and I gave birth to his baby brother about 7 months ago. So a lot has been going on in this little guy’s life. What have I been doing differently? Well, I haven't spent much mommy and me time together- simply because it's harder now and his younger sister either wants to attend or he asks for her company. (Twisted turn of events here!) I also haven't done a behavior modification system as of yet.

What's a classifier with no time to do? Well, it's obvious he needs some attention. I think to start I need to make a conscience effort to give him a little more throughout the day- or set some time for just us two- even if it's reading him an extra story before bed time. If after a week, I see no improvement (or not enough) I will then put on my Super Nanny cape on and set some ground rules down (again). And because he is older, and needs to learn how to control his emotions and jealousy, perhaps instead of a sticker behavior chart, we can track how he feels in situations and then come up with resolutions and solutions. I may make a chart or something of it's sorts for you to share if I come down to it.

All in all, if you take a step back and analyze the whole picture, sometimes you realize that there are reasons as to why your child is acting up. Even if it means you start a parenting journal or blog to account for you and your child's actions!

What about you? Have you ever experienced a situation like mine? Please feel free to share how you over came your child's attention-getting behavior!

Kid's Craft: Snowman Shapes Puppet

If there is one thing that I love about a fun Winter Craft, it is one that reinforces or teaches as well. For this craft, your child will learn how to make a fun Snowman Puppet while learning about 3 basic shapes: circle, triangle and rectangle. They will also learn about contrast of black and white and the concept of small, medium, large.

4 year old creation

Classified: Easy and great for toddlers and preschoolers.

What you need:

1. Paper lunch bag
2. White, black, brown and orange construction paper
3. Lids or other household items to use as a stencil for circles
4. Glue or glue stick
5. Scissors

What you do:

1. Cut out:

• 1 large, medium and small circle on white construction paper. Make sure that they are in ratio with the paper lunch bag.
• various size circles in black construction paper for eyes, mouth and buttons.
•  1 long, thin black, and 2 brown rectangles for arms and brim of hat.
• 2 thin, short brown rectangles for fingers of arms.
• 1 fat rectangle for top of hat.
• 1 orange triangle for nose.

1. Assemble hat onto face first. I suggest gluing the brim to the top of the smallest white circle (head of snowman).
2. Glue the black fat triangle to top of brim. Make sure you ask about shapes and colors!
3. Assemble face. Tip: bend end of the wide end of the triangle to make a 3D effect with the nose!
4. Glue face to flap of the paper lunch bag.
5. Glue the medium circle next, following the large circle to the lunch bag.
6. Add buttons and arms. Allow time to dry and put on a puppet show for fun!

2 year old creation

Want to see more ideas? Don't forget to check out my Artsy Moms Page!

Kid’s Craft: Santa Face Paper Craft

Just in time for the Christmas holiday- A Santa Paper Craft Face! If you remember back to my posts on my Frankenstein Face and my Cornucopia Paper craft, then you already know that I have a lot of fun with the paper art. This paper craft is perfect for children in second grade and up and takes a few sessions to complete due to drying time.

Santa Face Paper Craft

Classified: Medium

Materials:

1.      12x18” Construction Paper White, Red, and a skin color. You can be creative and buy multicultural construction paper. I used this a lot when I taught art in my classroom. You can find it at Amazon.com or an art supply store. I included a pic to show you what it looks like:

2.      White Glue or Glue stick

3.      Scissors

4.      Ruler

5.      Pencil

6.      Santa Face Stencil (if needed)

7.      Stapler

Steps:

1.      Start by lying the “face” (light pink or otherwise) sheet of paper flat.

2.      Using one sheet of red paper, cut a strip about 2.5” x 18”. Add some definition to Santa’s shirt, cut it wavy.

3.      Using the template provided; print and cut out the facial features, trace and cut provided the directions given– or be creative and make your own face.

4.      Arrange facial features centered onto the 12x18” face paper. DO not glue down- yet! (Don’t make the same mistake I did- hey I’m not afraid to admit it!)

5.      Lightly draw an outline for a beard. See below:

6.      Using the white sheets of paper, cut ¼ by 18” strips (approximate). I figure every Santa will be different, but trust me it will take at least 20 or so for the beard alone!

7.      To make them curl, roll them around a pencil and gently squeeze.



8.      Starting towards the bottom of the Santa Face, within the boundaries of the outlined beard, glue the tips of the Beard curls to the face.

9.      Keep adding the curls- row by row – until everything is filled in up to the eyebrow line.

10.      To create the Santa hair; simply measure a white sheet of construction paper so that it is as wide from the beard to the edge of the face; and as long as the eye brown line to the bottom of the face paper. Use this as a stencil and cut out 8 times.

11.      Trim strips into the paper leaving 1” at the top untrimmed so that each unit of hair is intact.

12.      Curl each individual strip as you did the beard.

13.      Glue each row; one on top of the other, until it meets the brow line.

14.      Continue on the opposite side.

15.      Glue down the face.

Santa Hat:

1.      Cut 4 even slits (4.5 inches apart) and 5” long into a full sheet of red 12X18" construction paper.

2.      Glue the base to the Santa face about 1” above brow line.

3.      Using a 2.5 inch strip of white paper, cut a wavy line and adhere just above the brow line to the face and hat.

Step 1

Step 2 and 3

Step5



Step 6



 

4.      Bringing the edges together; staple once at the bottom and then again at the top of the head.

5.      Fold the two sides of the hat inward and tuck in.

6.      Take the remaining two sides, staple together and cut into a triangular shape. Add a white circle at the end.

7.      You’re done!

Need more Art and Craft ideas? Click here to explore!

Kid’s Craft: Scarecrow Puppet

Fun for the fall- Print and color this scarecrow to create a puppet. I left the face blank. You can either chose to add a picture of your child to the scarecrow puppet, or you can discuss parts of the face and have them decorate their own. I included examples of both.

Here is a poem that I found to go along with the theme:

Sung to: "I'm a little teapot"

I'm a little scarecrow stuffed with hay.
Here I stand in a field all day.
When I see the crows,
I like to shout
"Hey! You crows, you better get out!"

Source: http://www.preschooleducation.com/sfall.shtml

Classified: Easy

Materials:

1.      Scarecrow Template

2.      White Glue

3.      Scissors

4.      crayons

5.      Raffia or Yellow Yarn (for straw)

6.      2 Popsicle sticks (large)
7.      Photo of child - or - buttons/wiggle eyes (eyes) yarn or pipe cleaner (smile) paper/felt cut into a triangle (nose)

Steps:

1.      Print out the Scarecrow Template.

4 year old

2.      Color in the scarecrow.

3.      Option 1: cut your child’s face from a photo and glue it where a face should be. Option 2: Use small black buttons for eyes, triangles for a nose and a pipe cleaner for a mouth. Option 3: Draw face onto scarecrow.

4.      Cut out the scarecrow. Depending on the age of the child, have them cut the scarecrow out him or her self using child scissors.

5.      Cut and glue raffia (yarn) to arms and feet of scarecrow.

6.      Making a T – paste together Popsicle sticks on back of scarecrow.

2 year old

Links of the day:

http://www.answers.com/topic/scarecrow- History of the scarecrow!

When Time-outs Don't Work, Try This!

When Time-outs don't work, it is time for you to find another effective discipline tool. I am a firm believer that you never stop learning- even if something is your “craft” or “specialty,” there is always room for improvement. (So strange coming from an educator- huh?) Throughout my short 4.5 years of being a parent, I have enrolled in various parenting classes and read numerous books. I took these classes and read these books so I could, for lack of a better term, “enhance” my parenting skills. Every class I took emphasized on one aspect of discipline- Time Outs. Yes, the BIG T.O. of discipline. The instructors of these parenting classes and books give you the guidelines, the do’s and the don’ts, but never really covered the will not’s or the “doesn’t affect my child” aspect!

I found time-outs to be more effective with my first born, although I have to say he never really learned anything from them. I found it to be more of a break from the situation (and for me) than an actual learning experience. Now, I am not saying that time-outs NEVER work- they do, I feel it is more how your individual child handles them. Time-outs influenced him more if he were to sit out from a group activity than if he were to just do something in the private of our own home where he would scream “No I don’t want to” for the entire duration on the time-out step. But, he did stay in one spot. I do have to say that I am very fortunate that neither one of my children will get up and leave from that spot once sent there! My humble apologies and empathy goes to you if you have a child that does refuse to sit ;-(

My daughter, now 2 years and a few months, thinks time-outs are funny. It is so frustrating when I put on my “Super Nanny” face, go through the time-out routine (say sternly, face to face why your child is going to sit in time-out) send her to the time-out step only to have her display a smirk that would make you cringe! Once in time-out she sings and talks to herself. So a time-out is more of a place where she can spend some “me” time and not reflect whatsoever on the issue at large. I (stupidly) still set the timer and ignore her tactics, but am convinced that it really just does not affect her and that she sometimes prefers to be there.

So, I called in the forces. I taught preschool and subbed in on enough Kindergarten classes to know that not everyone uses time-outs all the time. What I find to be more effective at home has all ready been used in many elementary and early education classes for years. The “Traffic Light” concept is a beautiful tool because it not only allows the child to physically see that they are having a “rough day,” you can also carry this system everywhere you go and use it in conjunction with a time out! I used checks, (See Example Here!) but you can use faces, x’s or whatever your heart desires. I found it more of a lesson if the child himself flips over the check to green- to yellow- then to red. I usually use green as a first warning and an age appropriate time-out. Yellow is a second warning, an age appropriate time-out and I take something away. Red is the BIGGIE- time-out, something is taken away and early to bed. This may be too harsh for you (or not enough) but believe me, once you find your groove; I find this to nip bad behavior in the bud pretty quickly.

Add stickers to the pocket to make in more personal.

As I said- I am not against time-outs, because they do work for some, if not most children. If you are all for time-outs, great- just make sure to pick a time-out spot that is not the child's bedroom, that is just out of reach to human civilization and is boring. I have a set of steps that I use off of my kitchen; so my children can hear everything, see a little and participate none. However, if you have a little darling like mine, or are over using time-outs, you need a different system or you are just wasting both of your times. I provided you with a free template- but hey- get creative with your “Traffic Light” chart. Just make sure you make it so that it is portable and laminate it so it doesn’t fail due to wear and tear. Teachers purchase pockets from teaching stores, but it is just as easy and less expensive to make one yourself. This tool became so effective in my household that all I had to say is “you want a (insert color here) check?” and the behavior stopped on a dime!

This is how it looks like at the start of the day!

For more on behavior modification see: http://www.classifiedmom.com/p/resources.html

Kid’s Craft: Warhol Portraits

Andy Warhol is a contemporary “Pop” artist mostly known for his Campbell Soup Cans and depictions of Marilyn Monroe. In this lesson you will be taking your child’s photograph and, using watercolors, painting it with complementary colors. Good way to introduce primary and secondary colors as well. Fun lesson to do with children for moms, preschool and art teachers!

Remember, for younger children it’s the process not the product that counts! Please note: Knowledge of computer and digital camera required.

Classified: Easy

Materials:

1.      Computer

2.      Printer

3.      Digital image of child or photograph and scanner.

4.      Printer paper or card stock- white.

5.      Printing software. In this case I just used Windows Print Pictures Wizard.

6.      Water color paints

7.      Black fine tip marker

8.      Paper cutter, glue stick and black construction paper (optional)

Steps:

1.      Using printing software, print a black and white copy of your child’s portrait. Set it to wallet size (9).  You may have to bump up the “copies of each picture” to nine, so the entire page is filled with the portrait. If you did not take the photo in black and white- no fret! Simply go to your printer’s settings and adjust the print job to black and white! Print.

2.      For younger kids talk about primary colors (2-6); for older children talk about secondary colors (5-7); for the advanced (children 8 and up; including mamas) talk about complementary colors.

3.      Paint in each portrait accordingly using water colors.

4.      When completely dry- either you (mom/teacher) trace face with black marker (optional). Older kids can do this by themselves.

5.      Optional: Cut out each portrait and glue it to black construction paper to create a border.

6.      For the much older crowd (middle school-high school): get more advanced by teaching them how to use the digital camera, print 8X10’s and have them get more involved. Example, see Warhol’s http://www.moma.org/collection/browse_results.php?object_id=79809 Have them paint each portrait differently in detail.

Anthony age 4

Links of the day:

http://www.webexhibits.org/colorart/marilyns.html- Warhol’s’ Marilyn Monroe artwork.

Notes: Primary Colors- Red, Yellow and Blue (or magenta, yellow and cyan)

Secondary colors: Green, Purple and Orange.

Complimentary colors: Orange & Blue, Red & Green, Purple & Yellow

“Owning Up”

Ok, so if there is one lesson you learn in life, it is learning from your mistakes. I may be making a bold statement here, but that is one thing that this new generation is lacking. Being a 'semi-retired' teacher, there are many things I have taught my own children; their ABC’s, 123’s, shapes, colors, etc. Today I taught my son a lesson in “owning up to your mistakes.”

Of course, out of all the days I was unable to pick my son up from preschool, he had gotten in trouble. AAARRGGGHHH- but hey it happens- and that is why I deliberately hid my photo album from high school. I guess a friend of his was sent to time-out (reason unknown and none of my business anyway) and my son had to see what the issue was by sitting next to his friend on the time-out step. The teacher asked him to remove is body from the step, and in return my son had told his teacher “no” and insisted that he had to get to the bottom of the problem. So, his teacher said “fine, now you’re in time out.” Right-on teach! Sorry I would have done the same thing.

By now you may be thinking- “aren’t you going to defend your son?”  Innocent until proven guilty? Well, 1. My son (love him to death) tends to think that he makes the rules from time to time forgets that adults are the crème of the crop. 2. My father. Dang him, I do hate when he has a point with his “When I was Growing Up” stories. And I quote “When I was growing up teachers were always right and you were guilty until proven otherwise. In my day, you were afraid of a teacher (more of a respect) and more importantly you were scared to death of your parents if your teacher called home.” Although it has been 45 years since he has been in school, times have changed.

Today I took my son to school and had him apologize to his teacher for being insubordinate. I also gave him a HUGE lecture and early bed time, of course, but I think that “owning up” to what happened made it more of a lesson learned and a lesson earned. I also got kinda teary-eyed when my son hugged his teacher and said he was "so, so sorry." I get teary-eyed over everything, trust me, but this was one of those "Hallmark Moments."

Parents, do not be afraid to talk to your child’s teacher. Being a teacher myself, I really enjoy the open communication. I feel that children need to be held personally accountable for their actions, even at 4 years old.

Link of the day: http://www.pbs.org/parents/goingtoschool/talking_teachers.html - Tips for parents about talking to your child’s teacher by PBS.org